My Spiritual Experience

by Daniel · 0 comments

“Our real blessings often appear to us in the shape of pains, losses and disappointments, but let us have patience and we soon shall see them in their proper figures.”
– Joseph Addison

As much as I share about myself personally I do not always share my pain.  I have folks in my life today that I do share my fear, doubt and pain with.  To be honest over the years I have become much more stable in my emotions.  I typically find the bright spot in all of the challenges I face.  My friend Jo Dozier-Latino has this wonderful group called “The Tribe” on Facebook.  It recently asked to post our most memorable spiritual experience.  This was the second time in a few days that I had been asked this same question.  Coincidence?  I think not!

It was probably the darkest day of my recovered life.  It was the Saturday before Thanksgiving in 2004, my wife, my two youngest sons and I were living in Virginia since the end of August.  My business was failing miserably only I did not know it at the time.  Laura sensed it maybe even knew it.   We were staying in a Suites Hotel because we wanted the boys to start school on time and we had not closed on a house, so it was difficult and stressful on her and the boys.  I remember that Saturday morning when we arose her saying to me, “I am leaving with the boys today, I need you to drive me to my parents in NY”.  Wow, smashed, fear, sadness, grief, none of these words express the feeling of desperation I felt.  My family was everything to me.

I simply wanted to die, it was the longest six hour drive I had ever taken.  I cried inside the whole drive to New York.  But on the New Jersey Turnpike God spoke to my heart.  A feeling of warmth, actually a belief that “it is all going to be alright, I have a better plan for you” swelled within.  My return trip to Virginia was uneventful, the days that passed were topsy turvy but I knew that God had saved me.  I actually had a belief that my business would turn around, it did not.  My pride and ego wanted to prove her and all of the naysayers  wrong.  I did not.  Up until that point in my recovered life, in my marriage, and my family I thought all was well.  The bumps and challenges were simply things to overcome.  I could overcome anything thrown in my way.  But this?  The person that I loved and respected more than anyone on this Earth quitting on me?  It hurt, big time.

God did not hop into the passenger seat that day on my trip back.  My pride wanted him there, but I believe God grabbed the wheel.  Yet I continued to sit in the seat with my foot on the pedal.  I sometimes think that if I was God I would have smacked me in the head a thousand times!   As I look back my pride and ego blocked me from truly accepting God’s Grace.  It was up and down for awhile, I had to humble myself, make progress, re-humble myself and start over a dozen times since.  But today, God is in the drivers seat and my prayer is to allow Him to stay there.

Peace.

Dan 🙂

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