Don’t skip this…

by Daniel · 3 comments

If we skip [step five], we may not overcome drinking. Time after time newcomers have tried to keep to themselves certain facts about their lives. Trying to avoid this humbling experience, they have turned to easier methods. Almost invariably they got drunk. — The Big Book

It was 1988, I had struggled with two issues when it came to recovery. The concept of spirituality and the Fifth Step.

On the topic of spirituality I was an extremely angry person full of pride and ego. I believed in God but at the same time I did not. I was confused and angry, I asked questions such as, if God existed then why all the suffering in the world? But, I was hurting so much on the inside that I believed I needed to simply stop asking the wrong questions and begin accepting the concept that God “could and would” if I simply allowed Him to do so.

When it came to the Fifth Step however, I was so afraid of considering this principle. In my past if I told the truth about me it always came back to haunt me. I would do anything but tell the truth about my past! One day in a Fifth Step meeting I was deep in thought and excused myself to the mens room. As I walked out my sponsor was at the door. He said, “what is troubling you”? I replied, “nothing, I had to pee”, he immediately said, “don’t bullshit me what is going on”? I stood and looked at him for a while and finally said, “George, this is the only thing I will not do, I will not do the fifth step! Every time I have told anyone in the past about me it has turned around to hurt me”.

I remember it like it was yesterday, George looked me in the eye and said, “what is the worst thing you have ever done in your life”? I stood there shocked thinking “did this guy hear me”? He kept looking at me for what seemed like an eternity and once again said, “come on Danny, what is the worst thing you have ever done? This is your life”! I do not know why, but I blurted it out to him. He smiled and said, “damn we have all been there”, he then told me what he had done equally as crazy.

Honestly, I felt like the weight of the world came off my shoulders. I felt a part of life, I felt a part of recovery and quite frankly in hindsight it was the turning point in my life. Today I am blessed by that simple act of faith in my sponsor and the program. Today I believe I am free of addiction due to taking action on step five! Life is good!

Go, Go, Go…

Dan 🙂

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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

william hay October 13, 2011 at 11:09 am

Hello Dan
Just yesterday I attended a meeting on the 5th step, as they say there are no coincidenses.
I must say that without practicing all you taught me, I would be going nuts! Everyday I wake
To saying your positve affirmations ect and words cannot not explain how you truly helped begin
changing my core beliefs about who I am. I don’t think I would have the peace in my life while staying sober
Without your princiiples and approach too recovery. You might not belive this, however, of all I gained from BCH Way,
By far I caary you with me thru out my day and hear your words. To be reborn is amazing!
You carry a great power that you shared with me and without that power I don’t stand a chance.
If you ever get the time give me a call, would love to say hello and hear your voice
I thank you from the bottom of my heart for the greatest gift any man has ever given me, and that is not an exaggeration!!!!
Love you Dan, GOD Bless
William

Daniel October 15, 2011 at 6:18 am

You are a good man William, I appreciate the kind words, but you did the work, you do the daily work and that is why you live a happy, healthy, prosperous, clean and sober life! Life is good! Feel free to call me at anytime. My NY number is best.

Dan 🙂

Bill October 26, 2011 at 11:00 pm

When I read this, I feel like an old jalopy that just got a tankful of hightest.
Great work Dan.

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