Aloha!

by Daniel · 0 comments

To consciously manifest life joyously in the present! Aloha

I do not remember the show I was watching but a few months back I heard the actor make this statement.  I thought, “wow that is wonderful, I want to write about that.”  So I jotted it in my notes and well, today is the day.  It has been twenty years since my life took a turn for new and exciting challenges with a new and fresh perspective.  I was on a camping trip that I could not afford to be on, it was a group of families that had planned the trip for quite a while.  I am not a planner, in fact, back then, I was more of a procrastinator.  In this case, the plans were set but I was broke, I kept pretending it would work out but deep down inside I knew I was going to let my family and friends down.  We were supposed to leave in a few days and I told my wife we just couldn’t swing it, camping, I couldn’t afford camping!  The week before, my oldest son asked me to buy him sneakers and I could not afford those.  Well, I was not feeling so good about myself and my future.  I was sober ten years, married with awesome kids and I was a “weenie!”  I could not afford camping and worse yet I could not afford to buy my son a pair of sneakers he really wanted. 

I was at work and my wife called me and said, “our friends really want us there and they will lend us the money to go, can we go?”  Although it was embarrassing I said yes.  I am grateful I did.  While we were there our friend pulled me to the side and said she wanted to suggest something.  She wanted me to sit with a friend of ours to discuss finance.  I remember thinking, “finances, I do not need a financial lesson I need more money!”  But, she had just lent us money to get there so I had no choice but to say yes!  I will not go into the details, but I will say my life changed radically.  

What I learned at and after this meeting was simple yet profound.  It was the foundation for my life moving forward.  What came of that meeting eventually lead me to a cassette program by Earl Nightingale titled “Lead the Field.”   I began to listen to that series of tapes on a daily basis and began to realize that my thinking was at the core of my failure.  I learned that to manifest joy I must live in the moment, the present, it is a gift!  I began to stretch myself and think outside the box, I stopped watching the news at 11!  Instead, I began to read books on self-improvement and listen to audios of the same genre.  I started putting better thoughts and build action plans for success rather than simply wish and hope for the best.  I learned that service to others was my purpose in life but I did not need to live my life as a pauper.  I could “Be,” “Do,” and “Have” what I wanted if I was willing to work for it, believe it was right for me and persevere.  I learned that life is meant to be enjoyed and not endured.  

I would love to tell you that all went perfectly since then, but that is not the truth.  I have been up and down financially, I have made poor choices, made the same mistakes more than once!  But what I haven’t done is given up!  I remember buying into the depression narrative, the “I’m broken” narrative of self-help.  I listened to the talk as if it were gospel, and I would work on myself to get better!  What I learned is simple, focus on where your purpose is leading, condition your mind to be happy, joyous and free, and do the next right thing!  The difference is night and day, I remember clearly, to varying degrees, going to bed praying that I do not awaken again, yes sober right up through ten years, still feeling like a loser.  I am happy to report that through failure and adversity today I am excited to awaken!  I am grateful to have another shot at another day.  Today, Aloha rings true, To consciously manifest life joyously in the present!

 

Go, Go, Go…

 

Dan

{ 0 comments }

Multiplication

Multiplication

by Daniel 6 August 2018

Unless you have gone through school with the Common Core system you probably remember the “Multiplication” tables.  We needed to memorize those tables and had better learn some shortcuts and not with our fingers to assist in the process.  I recently saw a “gif” of the multiples of “10,” it went like this: 10 x […]

Read More…
A colleague recently asked me:

A colleague recently asked me: “What prompted you to enter behavioral health/social work?”

by Daniel 3 August 2018

My response, “My family impressed upon me the need in our lives for community service. Helping others is essential aspect of our lives. Community and family are one!” He responded, “So it was really an internal/natural desire to help people, right?” Me, “Yes coupled with our family belief system.” We live in a complicated world, […]

Read More…
The Stigma Fallacy

The Stigma Fallacy

by Daniel 2 August 2018

I have read the articles, heard the narrative, and it goes like this. We would never blame a patient with a serious medical condition for their condition the way we blame the addict or alcoholic for addiction or alcoholism. Or would we? How about a diabetic with a sugar relapse, or an overweight smoker after […]

Read More…
Why?

Why?

by Daniel 20 May 2017

There’s something about losing friends, particularly young people, where it’s not something that you get over. I don’t believe there’s a healing process. Chris Cornell Without a doubt, in my mind at least, Chris Cornell was in the top three of all time great vocalists.  On top of that his lyrics rank way up there […]

Read More…
Addiction Treatment and The Twelve Steps

Addiction Treatment and The Twelve Steps

by Daniel 18 December 2016

At some of these [steps] we balked. We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not. —Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th ed., pg. 58  One of the biggest misnomers when looking into treatment for addiction is the idea that a treatment center is a “Twelve Step Program.” Truth be told, when it comes […]

Read More…
The Perfect Miracle

The Perfect Miracle

by Daniel 3 December 2016

“To me, every hour of the day and night is an unspeakably perfect miracle.” Walt Whitman In early recovery I had an issue with celebrating how long I was sober.  I remember saying to my sponsor it seemed like it was an Academy Awards speech thanking everyone involved for the help and trust.  He told […]

Read More…
Recovery; Simple but not Easy!

Recovery; Simple but not Easy!

by Daniel 2 December 2016

It took me a long time to understand that I could be what I choose to be, that I am, indeed, that which has the capacity to look fear in the eye and dissolve it. No problem can be resolved from the point of view of the problem. I learned to ask myself, “What’s another […]

Read More…
The only way out is through the front door! 

The only way out is through the front door! 

by Daniel 28 November 2016

Then, gathering all his forces, he attempted to stop altogether and found he could not.  Big Book, 4th ed., pg. 32  If you are not an alcoholic, it is difficult to comprehend the subtle compulsion to drink. Likewise, if you are not an addict you may be baffled by the compulsion to use despite the […]

Read More…
Relationships; Compromise vs Collaboration

Relationships; Compromise vs Collaboration

by Daniel 27 November 2016

How do you know there is trouble in river city in a relationship? The first way is look at their social media pages. Clue #1 is changing the profile picture from a photo of a couple to solo shot. When is true trouble on the horizon? When the status changes from “in a relationship” to […]

Read More…
Our Freedom, Independence Day

Our Freedom, Independence Day

by Daniel 4 July 2016

“The history of free men is never really written by chance but by choice; their choice!” – – Dwight D. Eisenhower For recovering or recovered alcoholics and addicts the holidays can be a trying period of time on our sobriety.  Talk in the rooms often swings to the holiday, the temptations and of course the […]

Read More…